Uncategorized · Milf

Reclaim my MILF

What is it to be a MILF?  We all know what the word MILF means but how do you REALLY be a MILF.  When I was younger my whole goal in life was to be a MILF, i’m so glad my priorities changed haha.  But lets think about this real fast.  I came to the realization the other day that I have let myself go.  After have 2 kids and being married for 3 years I forgot how to be sexy.  Not for other people but for myself.  We have kids and we lose ourselves and enter this journey called ‘motherhood’.  Then Facebook loves to remind us of what we were doing 10 years ago…..

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Like holy shit I looked GOOD.  I had a flat tummy, I was confident, I was happy ALL THE TIME!  What changed?  Oh yeah, I grew up.  I got responsible, got married, had babies and faced reality.  Life was so much easier when I was irresponsible.  But I wanna be happy again.  I wanna have a carefree attitude when it comes to certain things, I want to be successful business woman and walk down the street and be super confident and I want people to see that on me. milf.  I lost my Milf personality and I need to get it back so i’m on a mission to reclaim that and I want you to do it with me.  I have some key bullet points here to help us get to that!

  • Clean out your closet, like really clean out your closet. If you wouldn’t wear it tomorrow, then let it go
  • Hydrate yo self. Drink water like it’s going out of style
  • Tell yourself you’re hot. Like everyday.
  • Own up to your mental health and don’t be ashamed. If you’re on antidepressants, take them. Don’t be ashamed.
  • Love your body the way it is. Embrace your stretch marks. They gave you beautiful children.
  • Pay on/off your debt. There is no worse feeling then owing money. Pay what you can. It’s so worth it.
  • Brighten up your smile. Seriously.
  • Exercise the way that works for you. You hate running but love to dance, then DANCE!
  • Make a bomb ass playlist that puts you in a good mood and listen to it on the way to work.
  • Treat yo self. Don’t feel guilty about buying something for yourself. You deserve it.
  • Go out and have fun. We deserve a good girls night. Make sure you get one at least once a month.
  • Go out on a date. Make time for you and your significant other.
  • Get dressed up for no reason. Put on makeup every day.  When you feel pretty everyone can sense it.
  • Surround yourself with positive people. If everyone in your squad is a Debbie downer then it’s only natural that you become one also.
  • Keep a journal, write down things that you are grateful for at least 3 items per day
  • Disconnect from the world.  Facebook can be so addicting and I admit I am on it constantly but we have to step back and appreciate what’s around us.

So I am going to try this and I want you to try it too. Let’s make 2018 a much more positive year and reclaim our MILF!! Follow me on Instagram to see my journey: @jennifer.sanger




We had a baby….it’s a boy!


Jamison DeCrise was born August 25th at 10:32 pm. Funny story is that his older sisters birthday is August 24th. So my children’s birthdays are back to back. Clearly my husband and I need hobbies in December.

So here is how it started:

I went into an appointment at my OB\GYN office for a routine NST (non stress test). At this point I have been 4cm dilated for a week and was over it. I was 37 weeks pregnant and MISERABLE. My OB offered to strip my membranes to help speed up the process. Now I know that sounds intense and trust me it was. Typical when you get your membranes stripped it can jump start labor within 24-48 hours. Not with my kids. My kids like to run out of me. The minute I left my appointment the contractions started happening. I went home and surprise there goes my mucus plug. Now when I have previously googled images of mucus plug it looked like a chunk of mucus. Nothing special. Not the case. (Insert really graphic imagery) Your mucus plug is like the blood clot you get at the end of your period mixed with mucus and way bigger. I felt so dirty as it was coming out. Like I felt like I was on my period. GROSS 😣😣. Now also leading up to this point I was having “contractions”. I use quotes cause what I thought were contractions were nothing compared to my actual contractions. Best way to describe it is pain in your lower back and uterus. It takes your breathe away and that’s how I knew it was the real deal. Decided to go to the hospital at 1pm ish and they monitored my contractions and checked my cervix for dilation. When I got to the hospital I was at 5cm. Over 2 hours I had progressed to 6cm and that is when they decided to admit me!! 🙂

The delivery

Once admitted they took me back to my delivery room which is HUGE!!!! My husband is on his phone (like always) and the nurses go ahead and call anesthesiology to give me that liquid goodness called an epidural. Boy once that epidural kicked in I felt AMAZING!!! I was able to snap chat and update my Facebook followers. They then went to break my water. It took some time to break my water, it took some time cause my cervix was so high still. But they got it done. Once my water broke it sped up the process. Then it was time to push. I pushed 9 times before my prince was here and perfect!!! And I didn’t feel a thing which at the time was the best part.

After delivery

A lot of people want to know, what happens after delivery. You have this gorgeous baby and no idea what to do next. I’m here to give you the honest truth.

  • Your boobs get HUGE: once that breast milk comes in your boobs are hard as rocks. Even the slightest tough hurts. They say to pump or self express a little to help baby latch on. At first when you pump you’ll only get like 1-2 oz out. But after a while you’ll be able to get more and that engorgement will go down.
  • HOLY HEMORRHOIDS: yes. They hurt. A LOT. like I was scared to poop the first week after delivering my son and they offered stool softeners but I can’t swallow pills so I had to tough it out. They offered tucks pads for the hemorrhoids and they are amazing. Use them.
  • Contracting while breastfeeding: Every time you feed, your uterus will contract back to its original size. The more kids you have the more it hurts. Like mine hurt so bad I vomited. But it only lasted a few days. All is good now.
  • Sleep. What is sleep: I highly recommend utilizing the nursery at the hospital cause once baby comes home with you, you’re never sleeping again. The first few nights at home I didn’t sleep. Baby wanted to feed every hour on the hour and since we’re breastfeeding I was the one who had to get up with him. Thankfully I can now get 3 hours straight at a time.
  • Your period is back: so clearly you’re going to bleed for a few “days” after delivery. I quote days cause that’s what they say but it’s a lie. I’ve learned that the more I do, the more I bleed. When I’m lazy, the bleeding stops. When I walk around the house or do a little activity the flood gates open. Literally. Take it from me. If you can rest in bed, do it. You just popped out a baby, rest up.
  • Back pain and other pain: when I pushed out my son I used muscles that I didn’t even know I had cause I couldn’t feel a thing. Days after I delivered I realized my back muscles were so sore from pushing and using those muscles. The amount of back pain and groin pain from pushing is CRAZY. It’s ridiculous what your body goes through to deliver a baby and the pain you have to deal with afterwards. All I can do is take pain medicine and hope it goes away. (I’ll keep you guys posted on that)
  • Visitors: you had a baby and everyone wants to visit him or her. Don’t feel obligated to have them in your house at once. It can be overwhelming. You’re finally home with a new member of your family and your house is PACKED. Insert minor panic attack. Lay some ground rules. One set of visitors at a time, set visiting hours at your home, kick people out when you’re tired. You come first and if you’re not up for visitors, it’s ok. When you’re up for them let them know.
  • Postpartum depression: this is a real thing and it happens and no one likes to talk about it. If you feel extra sad or down, tell your doctor. Women go through this every day and it’s nothing to be embarrassed about. I suffer from anxiety prior to becoming pregnant and I’m just waiting for my hormones to drop to see if I’ll be affected by PPD or not. I know if it happens I’ll let my husband know and my doctor.

So that’s what I got so far!! I should have more time to update this blog so stay tuned and follow my journey into motherhood of 2 kids!! XoxoJen

Pregnancy · pregnancy loss

Going from “if” to “when”

If you read one my previous blogs you would know that I went through a still birth. It is something I would never wish on my worst enemy. I'm not here to talk about that experience again. I'm here to talk about the "after" pregnancy experiences.

I've been pregnant 3 times since my still birth. I always hate going to the doctors office and talking to a new nurse about my pregnancy history. They're always like "so this is what number pregnancy for you?" Then I have to describe my still birth in detail and my miscarriage. They automatically look at you like you're going to burst into tears and at that moment they decide to monitor you extra closely.

The entire pregnancy you're paranoid that you're not going to make it past the 1st trimester or deliver a crying baby in the 3rd trimester . "What if there is no heartbeat again", "what if there is no fetal movement". These are the daily questions that have gone through my head with my daughter and now my son.


That is the question I asked my self during my first trimesters for both pregnancy. "I wonder IF I'm going to make it past the 1st trimester" or " I wonder IF I'll hear a heartbeat." I remember with my daughters first ultrasound when we heard the heartbeat I started crying. I couldn't help it, I was so cautiously optimistic that I didn't want to believe it. My husband and I were cautiously optimistic the entire first trimester with my daughter. Trying not to get too excited, not let too many people know so I don't have to tell them if it doesn't work out. Once I hit 14 weeks a big sigh of relief happens and I started to enjoy the journey and tell people about our big announcement. Now when I say "enjoy" I mean like not expect a miscarriage but remember I don't do well being pregnant.


Now is the fun part. I passed the scary 1st trimester and have enjoyed the fabulous 2nd trimester. Now it's the 3rd trimester and you can't believe you made it this far. For me with my daughter it was the longest 10 weeks of my life. The 3rd trimester starts at week 28 and I delivered my daughter at 38 weeks. During the whole last trimester I asked "When". Now that I know I can carry this baby past the first trimester, when will she come. Will she be ok when she gets here, will she be born alive. When will it happen and how do I know I'll be good at this parenting thing.

It's scary. Pregnancy is one scary thing that is not easy. Not everyone can carry a child and after loosing one, it makes it that much worst the next time around. Being 34 weeks pregnant now with my son, whenever he doesn't move I find myself shaking my belly to make sure he's still alive and moving. I'm paranoid that I'm going to loose my son. Everyone says "he's so much safer in you than out in the world" [insert eye roll emoji] that doesn't bring me comfort especially if I lost a child who passed away in me and I had to deliver him knowing he'll never cry.

How does one get past that? How does one get over the "If" and "when" questions. These are questions I find myself asking as the days to my second child being born draws nearer. Every kick brings comfort but every lack of movement brings me anxiety. Still dealing with it, and it's ok. It doesn't make me crazy. It makes me human, and a mother.

Fashion · Pregnancy

Fashionably Pregnant by Zoe Bixby

Who says moms to be cannot be fashionable? Sure, nine months of un-comfortableness isn’t exactly a huge motivator to want to be fashionable while pregnant. However, with these celeb inspirations, and easy, comfortable clothing options, it’s going to seem a lot easier to accomplish.

Most mommy’s to be aren’t exactly in the mood to sit and stare at their closet wondering what to throw on for the day. That is why we have decided to come up with a list as to what you need in your maternity closet, which should make things a breeze when it comes to choosing your daily outfit. Comfort is obviously the number one factor to maternity clothing. You don’t want to be wearing skin tight dresses, or skinny jeans that cut off your circulation. You want to show off that glowing baby bump off, but in a subtle way. So, here we go. Look over this list, and all of your questions will be answered.

The Maxi Dress

A maxi dress is a necessity in every woman’s closet, pregnant or not. A maxi dress is so chic, and comfortable. The two main things you need your maternity garment to be, and it’s both! Showing off that baby bump in a classic maxi dress on a warm summer day, will be giving all of the other pregnant women inspiration to go out and find their own maxi dress. Look at you, a trend setting mommy.

The Wrap Dress

The classic wrap dress is something everybody loves. The material is always soft, and expandable, which is perfect for you! The dress is also something you can adjust to accentuate that beautiful bump, and show the world you’re one stylish mom. This is perfect when you and your man are going on a date, or even when it’s a girl’s brunch. It’s so versatile and should always be your go-to when you have an event to worry about.

Bold Prints

Bold prints are a lovely thing when it comes to showing off your curves. Every woman who is pregnant deserves to feel beautiful, because you are! What better way of feeling like a star, than showing the world you’re hot and you know it. Bold prints in tops matched with a cute, stretchy skirt with a classic sneaker is the way to go. Looking stylish, and sexy, your mom definitely did not look this good when she was pregnant with you.

It’s time to not only empower women that are pregnant, but also show them that you can still look amazing in this nine-month time span. It can be done so effortlessly, and because of that you can also feel amazing about it. Now, go on mommy to be, get your effortlessly chic maternity attire and work that pregnant belly!


What exactly is Phlipped Fashions?

Phlipped Fashions.

Phlipped Fashions is my clothing line that I created back in my college days as a school project.  I was actually working at Davids Bridal at the time and talking with a co-worker and I said ” I wish you could flip clothes like people flip a house!”  And in that moment Phlipped Fashions was born.  How does one flip clothing you ask, good questions.  Flipping clothing is pretty much reconstructing it.  Finding something that you no longer utilize and recreating it into something else.  It saves you money cause instead of buying something brand new, you are just recycling what you already have.  I came to the conclusion that I have been doing that my whole life anyways so why not make a business out of it.

So at this point I have a great title and a great idea.  What do I do next.  Well, the obvious choice would be to create clothing.  And that’s exactly what I did.  I went to the local goodwill and got whatever I thought I could reconstruct and I got to it.  Below are some pictures of earlier “Phlip’s”

These were my first’s and I was very proud of them.  But the more I designed the more I realized I didn’t know who I was designing for.  Who is wearing the clothing, what is her personality, what does she like to do.  I had to continuously rediscover who my true target market is.

In 2013 I made a GIANT leap and moved to Columbus, OH.  A lot of my friends asked (and still ask) “why Ohio…nothing is out there but the Cav’s and OSU and they’re our competitor.” And after extensive research I found that Columbus is the 3rd largest city for fashion.  It houses not only major fashion brands like the Limited brands, Abercrombie and Fitch and Zulily but there are multiple platforms for designers (like myself) to make an name for myself.  And besides, who doesn’t like a fresh start.  The first show I did as a designer in Columbus was Alternative Fashion Week.  I will continue to shout them out in everything I do because they gave a no name girl from West Grove, Pennsylvania a platform to make a name for herself.  And that is exactly what I tried to do.  Yes, I said tried because again I didn’t know who I was designing for so my collection made NO SENSE WHAT SO EVER!!!  Like I wish someone would’ve pulled me aside and said “you may not want to show that…like ever”.  But hey, it was my first real fashion show.  Check it out yourself:

Now, don’t get me wrong, these models killed it and I had a blast showing these looks.  But looking back now I ask myself “who is this Phlipped Fashions girl and what is she doing with her life.  Where is she going, to the country club?”  After this collection I had to take a long hard look into who I wanted to design for and what it was I wanted to do.

Phlipped Fashions is a clothing line that is for the every day girl.  You have tomboy tendencies but honey you know how to rock a pair of heels when the time comes.  You want to be fashionable but yet functional.  You do not want to be wearing an outfit that someone else could potentially have.  Everything is one of a kind, will never be duplicated.  How can I guarantee that?  Because half the time when I design, I design for the woman themselves and fit the garment to their body.  I hardly never use a pattern, and if I do, its extremely altered and tossed once i’m done.

The following shows that I have done have been way better because I found the girl I was designing for and haven’t been happier.

I even planned (along with my favorite Mobster Jeffery Steele) a show called Re[DEFI]ned fashions.  I can honestly say that my clothing has evolved from my first photo shoot till now.  And I couldn’t be any prouder to be a designer here in Columbus, OH!!!



Dog moms are moms too!!! 

I just did the funest (hope that’s a real word) show that I have done in a while. I, along with other designers that are a part  of the Alternative Fashion Mob partnered up with BarkBox for “Bark on the runway”.

If you have been living under a rock or in a cave,  BarkBox is a monthly subscription just for your pup. Trust me, my dog has one and she LOVES IT!! When ever her brown box comes in the mail her little stub of a tail starts wagging and she feels like the happiest pup in the world. 

If you are interested is signing up for a box click the hyperlink here!! 

Now back to where I come in…..

Not only am I a mother, but I am a designer that works very closely with Alternative Fashion Mob. They are a group based here in Columbus,OH that gives us designers a chance to call home. They are the baddest group of bitches in the state and I love working with them. 

We partnered up with BarkBox for their first (and hopefully not their last) Bark on the Runway event. We dressed handlers and dogs in matching outfits. Holy shit was it fun!!! Here are a few pics from the event. You definitely want to check out BarkBox, Alternative Fashion Mob and the Phlipped Fashions Instagram accounts for more pictures!! 

There are so many dogs stuck in shelters that are looking for their forever home. I definitely want to stress that you adopt, don’t shop. All the dogs in the event are up for adoption and it took every bone in my body not to take one (or all) of them home. And yeah, you don’t have to have a child to be a mom. Fur babies count too. They need love and attention just like human babies and they love you just the same (maybe even more). I mean think about it;  you have babies then they grow up, go to college, fall in love and get married (sorry- hormones) At least your dog will never go to college and leave you!! Points for pups!! 

Have a good weekend moms and fur moms 

Pregnancy · pregnancy loss

To have truly loved and lost

This time of the year is supposed to be a special time for mothers and mothers to be.  it’s a time that loved ones recognize all that you do, have done and will do.  Mother’s day is a reminder to celebrate your mom and tell her that you love her a little extra on this day.  For a period of time I hated this holiday.  Not cause I hate my mother (well, that’s for a different post) but because it reminded me that I wasn’t a mother.

In January 2008 I was a mess.  21 years old living in York County, PA.  Drank like it was no ones business and was dating a not so good guy.  That month I lost an Uncle, a good friend to drunk driving and found out I was pregnant.  Abortion was not the option for me, I decided I was going to raise this child and turn my life around. And that is exactly what I started to do.  I dumped my boyfriend, got a job as a claims clerical clerk and I began turning my studio apartment into a room fit for a prince.  Yes, my prince.  His name was Jaiden.  And I felt like I knew him before I met him.  I knew that he loved listening to my 80’s playlist first thing in the morning we got ready for work. We loved eating cinnamon raisin bagels as we got to work.  3pm was always lunch time and he would not let me go late.  Always kicking me at that exact moment.  And when ever I was upset he would almost caress me from the inside to remind me that he would never hurt me.  That is how I got through the summer of 2008, just me and my baby boy (who I thought was a girl for the LONGEST time until I saw that boy part).  Just when I got to a point where I have done a complete 180 on my life, my life changed.  It was September 15th.  I woke up like I did every day, played my 80’s music, got my bagel and began work.  It was a Monday and we were dealing with Hurricane Ike claims so we were busy here at work.  Before I even noticed it was 3:30 pm and I had missed my lunch.  I was thinking “that can’t be possible, Jaiden always kicks at 3 to remind me” but this day he didn’t.  So I push in on my stomach cause I knew if I did that, he’ll get annoyed and push back.  Nothing.  I shake my belly and still no movement.  I’m trying not to freak out at this point.  I go and grab a Pepsi and a glass of cold water cause that is what the OB tells you to do when the baby isn’t moving.  Drank both and still nothing.  Call my OB still panicked and they tell me to go to straight to the ER.  I call my friend Pam who worked at the local restaurant down the street and asked if she could pick me up and take me.  I tell my supervisor what is happening and let her know I’m going to the ER.  The entire car ride Pam is trying to talk to Jaiden and reassure me that everything is ok.  I get to the ER and the rush me straight to labor and delivery and hook me up to a fetal heart monitor.  I’m in there with just Pam and a Nurse.  She uses a Doppler to look for a heartbeat and then she quickly calls in for reinforcements.  At that moment my room gets completely filled with nurses and doctors and the OB on staff comes in and takes my hand. She starts crying and the rest gets silent.  They couldn’t find a heartbeat.  I was in complete disbelief.  This can’t be possible.  He was just there the other day, he was just kicking and caressing me last night.  what do you mean there is no heartbeat.  I began crying uncontrollably, my friend Pam is crying, there Is no dry eye in the room. They have to admit me and induce me to deliver my son.  My dead son.  I call my sister and my mother who lived over an hour away to come up. They give me an epidural to help with contractions and all I keep thinking is that maybe he’ll come out and be alive and he’s just punking me. Or I’m thinking “what did I do wrong, was it something I ate, was I doing too much activity?”  These are the thoughts going through my mind until the next when I finally get to deliver my boy.  (side note, my mom really wanted them to give me a C-Section. Like who really wants to be in labor for almost 24 hours with a child they will never take home??)  but I delivered my boy at 36 weeks pregnant, he was 6 lbs 15 oz and perfect. But he didn’t cry, he never opened his eyes.  I held my dead son and I felt empty.  They said the cord was around his neck and that is why he passed.  Damn Jaiden.  You were so active you got caught in your own cord.  I buried him a week later and had to ‘move on’ as certain family members told me. But how can I move on? My older sister just had her baby and I don’t want to be around him cause he makes me miss mine.  i have friends that are pregnant and even though I’m happy for them I am jealous cause they got to hold their children after delivering them and I didn’t.  I fell into a deep depression and no antidepressant could help me.  I often asked God “why would you take my child from me? What did I do to deserve this?”  I hated God for the longest time.  I hated anyone that was pregnant and had a healthy child.  I began drinking again cause that’s all I could do to numb the pain.  I moved in with a friend and we would go out and drink and have fun and never talked about Jaiden.  But in all this craziness i did have one friend that I could always talk to about him.  Her name was Charli.  and the reason I could be so open with her was because she’s been where I was. Never as intense as me but she had also loved children and lost them.  She understood my anger and she let me be angry, but she never left.  Till this day she is still one of my best friends because she was and is still there.

The First mothers days past after Jaiden past and everyone who has kids are getting their “happy mothers day” shout out on MySpace (cause that was huge back then)  and I forget who told me this but they said “just because your son isn’t here, doesn’t make you any less of a mother”  and they were right.  I did everything that any normal mother did while pregnant.  I went to my OB appointments, I took my vitamins, I ate all the right food, I stopped drinking.  I did everything right. The only difference Is, my child isn’t here and their’s is.  I wish I could say “in that very moment I changed my life around and beat depression and lived happily ever after” but that would be a lie. It took me some more time but I started to look as Jaiden coming into my life as a good thing.  He turned me into a mother, which made me have to grow up which was hard for me to do at that time.  I didn’t want to let him down.  I enrolled in school to start the Winter of 2010, I moved back home for 90 days before school started (I couldn’t handle more than 90 days, trust me if you know my family then you know why) to save up to get my own place once school started.  I got a car, paid cash all by myself and later that year I met my now husband.  I honestly can say that none of that would’ve happened if I never got pregnant with Jaiden.  He was the first domino and all this good began to happen because of him.  I still think about him every day and every mother’s day I still feel like he’s with me watching me, thinking “omg my mom is a hot mess. I’m soo embarrassed” and I laugh cause if I don’t, I’ll cry.

I thought after Jaiden that I’ll never want to have kids again or won’t be able to.  I thought my body was cursed.  Once my husband and I got married we got pregnant right away but essentially had a miscarriage.  I thought to myself “Oh God, not again.  Am I not meant to be a mother, just say so now.” And I went through the whole “if your pregnant, I hate you.  Or the “everyone that has babies I’m throwing mad shade at you cause twice now I should’ve had kids and God took them from me.”  Again, Charli was there as a great support system with her whole “been there, done that and now I have kids and you will too” mentality which sometimes is super annoying if you’re depressed but looking back now is 100% effective!!!! Right around December of 2014 I had a dream that I was at a picnic with my in-laws and there was my niece (who now I know as Annabelle) and another small child who looked roughly a year younger.  She had the curliest hair and best smile.  Olive complexion and she was playing in the water with her cousin.  She runs up to me and calls me Mommy.  I woke up from that dream with such love in my heart not knowing what it meant.  Who is this little girl in the water with curly hair?  Why is she calling me mommy?  Did I adopt her?  Is this Gods way of foreshadowing cause I really hate surprises.  Come to find out New year eve 2015 we found out we were pregnant.  I was ecstatic and also terrified.  If I have one more miscarriage or stillbirth I’m getting everything taken out. I can’t go through it again.  But I think Jaiden talked to the big guy upstairs and was like “Look, my mom is a hot mess.  Is there anyway you can give her constant reminders that she’s pregnant so she doesn’t freak out?”  And God was probably like “say no more”.  It was the WORST PREGNANCY EVER!!!!  Vomit, spitting in a bottle, round ligament pains, swollen ankles.  You name it I had it.  But I can honestly say that I got that little girl from my dreams.  Born at 38 weeks, Bexley Celine Sanger.  she now looks EXACLTY like the little girl I dreamt about and makes me feel complete again.  She has her guardian angel looking after her and I can feel it every day.

The question often gets asked “is it better to have loved, then lost.  Then to never have loved at all?”  The answer is yes.  If I never had Jaiden, I would have never met Charli, never met my husband and never have had my daughter.  I would’ve never graduated college (finally) and who knows where I would be but I know I wouldn’t be here.  Someone always asks “do you have any advice to moms who are going through or have gone through what you have?”  There is nothing I can say to make a grieving mother feel better.  We don’t want to here “everything happens for a reason” or “you will be a mom someday, when it’s your time”.  Fuck that.  No one in their right mind takes comfort in that. You know what I say ” this shit sucks. A lot. You do what you need to do to grieve and I’ll be here.  you want to go get drunk and cry on the bathroom floor at the bar?  I’ll drive.  You want to not talk about it ever?  Let’s talk about how messy these chicks look at the mall.”  Everyone grieves differently and in their own time.  But when you are ready to talk about it, I’m here because I’ve been there.  And what I can say is don’t lose hope. Because if I gave up, I wouldn’t have the girl i have today.  And I would also say “just cause you don’t have your baby doesn’t make you ANY less of a mother.  You are the best mom and you will have your prince or princess. And because you have lost, you will love them so unconditionally. “